ASK DR. SONJA: WEEK VII

[Sonja]

(The LadyBirds doing their best to keep a less than amused Cardinal football crowd awake during a not-so-convincing win over Indiana State. Now that we have a guy on the squad, shouldn't we add a girl to the football team? Dr. Sonja is ready...perfectly capable of trash talk, committing penalties and screaming encouragment to Anderson, Beaumont, Guy and the defense in between sips of white zin. )

OK, we got that one out of the way. The hotline was ringing non-stop Saturday night and Sunday morning with fears, worries and disillusionment over the win Saturday. As I told many of you...turn that frown upside down. At least you weren't sitting next to a plastered bear who kept yelling for Krags to put Michael Bush and Harry Douglas in the game. His interpretation of "Billie Jean" near the end of the game should have been caught on video. Here's the questions:

DEAR DR. SONJA:

I represent about 10-12 guys who thought we were going to play Saturday night but were kept off the field. Coach's decision. We'd like to know if you think we should just quit or hang in there?

Signed,
Didn't Need A Shower Afterwards

DEAR DIDN'T:

Walking away from one's problems is dicey. Your Coach is doing thing the right way...(giggle, giggle, lol)...and if he didn't play you it had to be for a reason. Practice hard, obey the rules and try to stay out of the clubs on a Friday Night before a game. Or, you can always just stop by Shannon's tailgate extravaganza to "sign autographs" before the next home game and watch the action at least with a decent buzz if you're not going to hit the field. Maybe we should start Card March from there. Maybe we should just play the game there.

FROM FACEBOOK:

Hi, Doc. Yes, you can be my facebook friend! I just love this social networking tool! It gives me the chance to bust up the coach in private...unless one of my "friends" spreads it all over the internet. No big deal. He won't be here much longer and I'll get the playing time you know I deserve when Phil Fulmer takes over, right?

"DARE I" ASHLEY

DEAR "DARE I"

I like Facebook too, but I don't use it to prove I'm an idiot in front of millions of people. OK. Yeah, I probably do...but Shannon doesn't have me on scholarship over here at Card Dom to answer silly crap like this. I know that your angry that you didn't get to play, that Terry Jackson wasn't there to cheer you on and that Shannon ran out of brats by the time you got there after the game....but just because the internet is full of all kinds of fools...it doesn't mean you have to be one. I'd go with the "someone spammed my account...I didn't post that" answer. And, hire a ghost writer.

GOOD MORNING DR. SONJA!

Gee, I am so upset with this year's football team! Why didn't we win by 50? Why can't we convert on third down? Why can't we stop anyone on third down? Why are we committing so many penalties? Why do the refs hate us?

YOUR FRIEND
STEVIE FROM TULSA

DEAR STEVIE:

You're right. We're pitiful. We might as just say "%$#&" the rest of the season and concentrate on fighting, trash talking and late hits. You should immediately give up on Cardinal Football and go watch and support teams in your area...like Tulsa or Oklahoma. We're bound to lose the next eleven games, become the laughing stock of college BCS teams and we'll have maybe 1000 show up for the Rutgers game after Thanksgiving. I love it. No long waits in the restroom or concession lines, the guys will be able to hear me when I'm still there cheering them on, I'll have a great shot of getting inside that big inflatable ball during a time out and roll my intoxicated butt around the field and I can finally realize my dream of being a KickOff Kid.

Or, Stevie...you could just stay and hope that our coach and his coaches work with the guys each week and makes them better football players. You could study game film and correct the misreads, misfires and mistakes and maybe write coach a nice letter with some suggestions. Or, just hang out wherever you park, have a great time tailgating and tossing cornhole and enjoy the friendship and good food. Heck with the game..I'm putting on a few more burgers. Remember, it's all on you, Stevie.

(Oh, and make sure you include in your letter to Koach... get the ball to Joe Tronzo. No one is expecting it)


OK, it is Labor Day and since the office is closed....ol' Doc has got to start getting ready to crash another weekend picnic and end up face down in the potato salad. In case of emergency, take two weeks off from football and meet me in Lexington on Sept. 19th.