Going to Mountaineerland in a Mountaineer

[Paul]

(Our fearless leader finds yet another way to lose a game)

Here is the recap of the trip to Morgantown to watch UofL attempt to play football against the Mountaineers. After I'm done with it, I may sleep till Monday. The recap is long and we're supposed to get some photos from one of the WVU guys of all of us. He could be lying, though.

2:05 PM Friday
Everyone has arrived at the designated coordinates and we've loaded the vehicle and we're ready to go. Six guys, 3 cases of beer, assorted liquor, sandwiches from one of the wives and I'm driving the first three hours of the 400 mile trip. In a Mountaineer. Is that spooky or what?

5:13 PM Friday
We've reached Ashland and I get to turn the wheel over. Guys were watching a video of the 2005 game against WVU. God, where did Michael Bush and Brian Brohm go? Now, it's time to crack a beer and get this party started.

7:55 PM Friday
We're pulling into the hotel parking lot and a good time is being had by all. Keith handled the second half of the drive. I think we're all close to being drunk except him. I've spent the last 3 hours watching The Andy Griffith Show classics. Citizens arrest! Citizens arrest! Did you ever wonder how good a fullback Otis Campbell might have been? Now, the race to the hotel lobby bathroom.

8:15 PM Friday.
Our parking pass for tomorrow was waiting at the front desk, we've found the hotel lobby bar and dinner plans are set. Our bartender informs us we're going to lose by 30. The man simply doesn't know how to work a group for a good tip, does he? Off we go into the night for eats.

9:55 PM Friday.
Back from the Synergy Chop House and Saloon on Clay Street and not disappointed one bit. We've run into a couple of Cardinal fans here in the lobby and we're going out to a sports bar that may or may not have a gentleman's cabaret attached to it. The great thing is, they come pick you up and bring you back, so no tipsy driving the rest of the night. Call has been made for the ride and I've also talked to our tailgate host for tomorrow. We're expected around 8:30 or so.

11:15 PM Friday
Yeah, this will do. We're at a place called the Gold Club. Kenny's having a hard time walking straight but we managed to get him in. Our ride here was...uh, interesting. Three girls came to pick up the eight of us. All in one van.

(early Saturday morning)
MAN DOWN! Kenny has hit the wall and needs to be relieved of duty. The management cheeerfully agrees to take him back to the hotel and Tom decides to leave with him. I've just finished a very stimulating discussion with a dancer named Brandi who is a student at WVU and lives in a trailer ( I kid you not). I could go into more detail but let's just say she likes to sit on guys' laps. A lot. I decline the offer to go to a private room for a massage. I'm happy just being an observer. And there's a lot to see here.

(Maybe 3 AM Saturday morning)
Well, it's closing time at the Gold Club so we're being transported back to the hotel. Yeah, I think I'm pretty drunk and glad I'm not driving. 3 different girls take us back to our lodging and are more than ready to come in and party with us (for a fee). They get no takers that I know of, at least in our room. Tony loses the coin toss and gets the futon. Bob and I share the bed. Without anyone to party with. I'm out before I hit the pillow. Tony has gas and thinks it's hilarious...

6:30 AM Saturday
It's the alarm and it isn't a welcome thing. I hit the shower first. Bob starts the in room coffee machine. Tony still has gas, but he isn't laughing this morning. We send him down to the Mountaineer for Bailey and beer.

7:15 AM Saturday
I'm in the hotel's business center catching up on e-mail, sipping my second Bailey's and coffee and feeling much better. Keith tells us Kenny threw up half the night. Tom said he slept like a rock. My wallet feels considerably lighter. The front desk clerk thinks I look like Tom Selleck, I think she must be drinking. I'm ready for another.

8:30 AM Saturday
Arrived at the tailgate area. Great parking spot, our WVU buddies have two grills going and bloody Mary's prepared. Life is good. We did get "flipped off" on the way here, but that's been the extent of any hostilities..and it could have been because of Bob's driving.

11:30 AM Saturday
Great conversation with the guys around us and more food than you can imagine. Met a couple ex-WVU players as well, from the Don Nehlen days. Nobody seems to like this current coach here very much. We're headed into the stadium and Kenny's beginning to get some color back in his face. I'm getting buzzed again and not complaining.

HALFTIME
Hey, We're still in this thing and although it was a defensive snorefest until the last four minutes, we're not looking all that bad. We're headed to the parking lot to have a couple of beers (they let you do that here). 7-6. We have possibilities. Their fans are dead. Nothing like previous trips up here. Must be the apathy or the early start. We head back in, buy soft drinks and head to the restroom to add bourbon. That's how you do it up here to avoid getting caught. No booze in the stadium. They have guys with binoculars scanning the visiting crowd for signs of booze and they take it away from you if they catch you. Guy behind us got popped in the first half. Their place, their rules...I guess , but it seems silly to me.

3:30 PM Saturday
Yeah. We lose again. Still can't put four quarters together. Some fat guy behind us was yelling for Kragthorpe to quit after the game. Like that's going to happen. Beer and more food in the parking lot, though. It's sad, but I'm getting used to losing anymore and it doesn't bother me.

5:30 PM
Time to head it back to the Ville. We've been treated quite well up here and will definitely extend the favor to our host next year in Louisville. We thank our gracious hosts, offer a little money for expenses...which is declined and pile into the Mountaineer. I'm getting sleepy...maybe a nap on the way back to the Ville. Kenny's driving. Maybe not.

11:15 PM
We've arrived back and I slept on and off about half the way.
Oh, well. We went, we saw, we partied, we lost. I'm proud of the defense, proud of Darius Ashley and we did have a chance at the end to possibly tie it. The drive back to the house is uneventful. Good to be home. Sonja had another big day at the track but she has already gone to sleep. Might as well do the computer thing. UofL football. Or lack of it.

[Shannon]

Great recap Paul! Glad you guys had a good time, and made it back in one piece.

The D did look better. I knew a healthy secondary would help.

If we could find some offense, we could be a decent team.

[Paul]

After you look at it, the difference was in how the teams scored. WE scored three times, but they were all field goals. WVU scored three times..a field goal and two touchdowns. UofL had a touchdown called back because of a penalty. Had another TD drive interrupted by an Ashley fumble.

I'll never be a fan of moral victoies, but UofL held their own against them...against a WVU team that is maybe the 4th or 5th best team in the conference this year. Maybe it will give UofL motivation to finally beat Syracuse in the Kragthorpe era. Who knows, a win against the Cuse and a season ending win against Rutgers?

Are 5 wins enough to retain Coach K? I know a ton of Cardinal fans are hoping it isn't. I'm finally able to say with out any reservations that it is time to move on and let another coach see what he can do with the team. No offense, Steve...but it is time for you to leave. WVU was poised and primed to be defeated yesterday but your questionable play calling prevented that from happening. Do the right thing, Tom. Make the change.

[Terry Jackson]

Interesting! No collecting batteries? No mention of burning couches?

Bill Stewart must be taking lessons from Kragsy. Do it the right way...calm the fans down.

[Joe Hill]

Paul did call me at halftime of the game. Told me the only thing tossed at the Cardinal section was foam rubber footballs. He estimated less than 100 Cardinal fans in the section..with a few spread out thruout the stadium.

BTW, Great account of the trip, Paul! Was that the same "Bob" with you that I met when I was up there in Louisville for the Pitt game? If so, tell him I still owe him a half bottle of Buffalo Trace and he can come down here and get paid in shots of it, if he wishes,

He is one crazy guy...just like you. How did you ever convince Sonja to marry you? (J/K..u know I love you, bro.)

[Shannon]

"How did you ever convince Sonja to marry you?"

A 5-liter box of that Franzia 'box' White Zinfandel, and Sonja said that Paul has large hands...........

Plus, Paul said Sonja started lookin' real good to him, through the bottom of those Bud Select bottles, then the grilling of some Italian sausages, and you know, one thing led to another.

It was a match made in Heaven.........

Just kidding about that, but who was Sonja going to get to trim the taxus bushes?

Sonja said, "Even with a dodgy knee, he still has a strong back", so he can still be the assistant gardener, even with a peg-leg, to let Sonja tell it.........

With a little tequila, Paul turns into a pants-free love machine. We do not call him "The River City Babe Magnet" for nothing.......

It comes from Paul watching all those Jim Brown films of the 70's, is how he became so debonair and suave.

[Sonja]

Oh, great...thanks for going public with all that, Shannon. It's bad enough to deal with that enormous ego of his...especially now that the new neighbors have a 17 yr. old daughter that leaves a puddle of drool on the back porch any time he steps out to work ouside. I'm seriously considering getting that Invisible Fence thing and hooking him up to it. Not to mention the girls at the bowling alley fawning around him like he's Tommy Lee or something every week.

Thank God the dart league is over for a few months...he and Bob had half the girls in the bar lining up to hang out with them, just like the guy in the "Smilin' Bob" male enhancement commercial. Talk about Dumb and Dumber.

Burt Reynolds, my ass...he's still the "let's have another one...whoops, where did my pants go?" goober that I met back when he still had hair, looks and some humility...That's why I felt no anxiety about him attending a gentleman's cabaret in West Virginia. His claims of lap dances were just waitress cleaning the tortilla chips and salsa off the couch next to him....and accidently brushing up against him.

(Love ya honey...)